Isaiah 9:2, 6-7; Matthew 5:4
I have a confession…I’m afraid of the dark—not the kind of “afraid of the dark” in which I need a nightlight to sleep at night. I mean, I’m afraid of the pitch dark. The few times in my life when I’ve found myself surrounded in complete darkness with no light to be seen, I’ve felt terrified. When I’m darkness surrounds me, my heart rate rises, my breathing becomes labored, my limbs seem to stop working. I feel like I’m being squeezed and suffocated by the emptiness enclosing me. The fear binds me.
C.S. Lewis, in his writing after losing his beloved wife, Joy, to cancer, said, “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.”
No one ever told me either. But for me, I found it true. In my grief, my heart physically felt different than before; merely breathing seemed to take more effort. I felt like I’d never be able to move from this place. Grief and fear provoke similar feelings and experiences, particularly the fear we face in the darkness. Tonight, maybe these kindred terrors can offer guides to us through this challenging season.
In the dark, we have to remember to breathe. The Hebrews considered the name of God too sacred to be uttered out loud. In our Bible, translators translated it as the word “Lord.” Today, no one knows exactly how to pronounce the original word because no one ever spoke it. Our best effort at pronouncing this name is “YAHWEH.” Some scholars believe YAHWEH is not a word at all as we use it, but they think it is breath itself. God’s name is our life-giving breath. So the name was intended to imitate the exhaling and inhaling of breathing: “Yah” (exhale) “Weh” (inhale). When we are born, we breathe, and in this way, the first thing we do is “speak the name of God.” And when we die, the last thing we do is “speak the name of God.” “Yah” (exhale) “Weh” (inhale).
When I think of it this way, it brings me some relief to me in my grief. Because in the darkness of despair, I sometimes find it hard to pray…but as long as I am breathing, as I understand this, I am speaking the name of God.
And if my breathing during these “merry and bright” holidays becomes mingled with tears and sounds more like sobbing, that’s ok because I’m speaking the name of God.
And if my breathing turns to laughter amid my sadness and pain, that’s ok as well because I’m speaking the name of God. In the dark, we must remember to breathe.
Another result of being in the dark is that we slow down. I’ve never known of anyone who suddenly found himself in the dark and began to run. What do we do when the lights go out? We stop. And then we slowly start to move, taking careful consideration in each movement we make.
The thing about darkness and grief is there’s no rushing through either of them. Just like being in the dark, trying to move too quickly through it could cause us more pain. Grief has its own timeline. It is slow, deliberate work.
When we slow down in the dark, we realize we have to begin to rely on things we did not rely on before. We depend on different senses to get us through because our sense of sight doesn’t help us anymore.
And if we are fortunate enough to find ourselves in the dark with another person, our first response is to reach out for them. Because we know twice the body mass, twice the sense of hearing and touch will help us navigate the darkness better.
In the darkness of grief, we find ourselves in an unfamiliar place. Our life is not what it was before our loss, and the tools in life which worked well for us before sometimes don’t work at all now or, at the very least they have to be adjusted. We discover new ways of navigating. In addition to the grief of losing a loved one, a marriage, a job, a physical or mental ability, or whatever loss we’ve experienced, we also grieve the loss of our future self with that person, that relationship, job, ability. I’m no longer the person I saw in the future before the loss. The things I relied on, yes, even sometimes the very way I saw myself is no longer there.
In Matthew 5, Jesus gives the beatitudes, a list of people he identifies as blessed. He says in verse 4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”. In this list of people identified as blessed, it seems strange to say “blessed are those who mourn”--at least in the way we tend to define blessings. We tend to use the word “blessing” as if it were some wonderful present we’ve received. We say we are blessed with a new job, new car, etc. So when Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn”-- it gets confusing. Perhaps that’s not exactly how Jesus intended for us to understand it. These “blessed” people are not in circumstances they (or any of us) would choose for themselves. The blessing is not in the event--in the dark times when we don’t understand or can’t even imagine God at work. Mourning is not a “present” I would choose for myself, but the blessing comes in the consequences which arise from it. What results from our mourning? “Comfort.” Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. The blessing comes in the “comfort.” And God brings comfort in ways we did not depend on before our loss.
In the darkness, we have no choice but to depend on other senses to guide us, no choice but to hold someone’s hand to navigate our way. And so it is with grief, we have to rely on other resources and depend on others to continue this difficult journey.
Ultimately when we find ourselves in the dark, we seek the light. When the lights go out, we catch our breath, we slowly fumble around, relying on other senses and those with us until we find some light.
Isaiah 9:2 says,
“The people who walked in darkness
Have seen a great light.
For those who lived in a land of deep shadows—
Light! Sunbursts of light!
The people of Israel had endured an unimaginable loss. Isaiah’s words come on the heels of a disastrous war. They mourn the loss of people they loved, the loss of possessions, the loss of freedom, and even their own identity seems stripped away. To these grieving people surrounded by darkness, Isaiah speaks words of hope. The light is there. The light is coming. Isaiah identifies this light in verse 6-7:
For a child has been born—for us!
The gift of a son—for us!
He’ll take over
The running of the world.
His names will be: Amazing Counselor,
Strong God,
Eternal Father,
Prince of Wholeness.
His ruling authority will grow,
and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.
This child, Jesus, would not be born for hundreds of years after Isaiah’s words here. God’s light would burst through the darkness of this world in the form of a helpless baby. Isaiah’s words tell us that even though life has not worked out the way we thought it would, God is still at work—encouraging us to trust that this light can be born into our darkness once again.
So when life should be “merry and bright,” but we are in the dark, we must remember to breathe, we slowly move about relying on other resources and the people with us, and in the dark, we seek the light. Peace be with you.
Here are a few books you might want to purchase or check out at the local library to read to your children before their swimming lessons:
Swim, Little Wombat, Swim
Little Wombat would love to swim. But are wombats meant for the water...or is he better off staying on dry land?
Every child who has ever eyed the swimming pool nervously will happily follow Little Wombat's success.
Maisy Learns to Swim
Today Maisy is going swimming for the first time, and she is a little nervous. Good thing Eddie and Tallulah are coming, too. Eddie is a natural, but Maisy and Tallulah get into the pool slowly — ooh, it’s freezing! But soon they are kicking and floating and even blowing bubbles with the rest. Whether water-shy or raring to go, young readers will find much to relate to as Maisy experiences another childhood first.
Abigail Learns to Swim
A book for 2-6-year-old children about overcoming fear and building self-confidence.
Register for swimming lessons in Hattiesburg for June 6-10 here.
Little Wombat would love to swim. But are wombats meant for the water...or is he better off staying on dry land?
Every child who has ever eyed the swimming pool nervously will happily follow Little Wombat's success.
Today Maisy is going swimming for the first time, and she is a little nervous. Good thing Eddie and Tallulah are coming, too. Eddie is a natural, but Maisy and Tallulah get into the pool slowly — ooh, it’s freezing! But soon they are kicking and floating and even blowing bubbles with the rest. Whether water-shy or raring to go, young readers will find much to relate to as Maisy experiences another childhood first.
A book for 2-6-year-old children about overcoming fear and building self-confidence.
Register for swimming lessons in Hattiesburg for June 6-10 here.
Before taking the plunge with your little one talk to them about their fear. You may know about a bad experience that happened to your child. You can talk about that event while being positive. Encourage them to respect the water while reminding them that it is also important to know how to swim.
Some children have never had a bad experience. Others may have gotten soap in their eyes during a bath, and they could be fearful that any water will burn their eyes. Often parents fear the water, and children pick up on those fears. While you may not know or understand why your child fears water, it is important to acknowledge their fear and remain positive. Reassure them with your confidence in them by saying something like, "I know it is hard, but I believe you can do it."
Here are 10 tips to help ease your child's fears with bath time:
1. Keep it calm. If your child normally bathes with an active brother or sister, take time to bathe the child by himself or herself. Try not to rush them, and always supervise young children in the bathtub. Don't try all of these suggestions during one bath time. Take small steps and praise each little accomplishment along the way.
2. Keep soap out of their eyes. Take a break from bubble baths while trying to ease fears. When shampooing use tear-free shampoo. Tell them to look up to the ceiling and use a dry rag to cover their eyes when rinsing shampoo.
3. Encourage them to touch their face with water. Begin by asking them to cup water in their hands and touch their cheeks with it. Then ask them to put their chin in their cupped hands of water.
5. Make bubbles with a straw. Bring a straw to bath time and ask your child to make bubbles by blowing through the straw. Remind them that this is not a drinking straw but a bubble straw. Next bath time bring the straw after you've cut a couple of inches off of it, and ask them to make bubbles again. Continue to cut the straw until their faces are a little closer to the water, but don't cut the straw shorter than three or four inches because it could become a choking hazard! Always closely supervise children with smaller straws.
6. Blow bubbles. Once your child seems comfortable blowing bubbles through a straw throw it away, and encourage them to try to put their chin in the water to make bubbles by blowing. Next, challenge your child to put their mouth into the water to blow bubbles.
7. Lie on their back. An important skill in learning to swim is floating on the back. Fill the up the tub high enough that your child's ears will be submerged while lying on his or her back. Encourage your child to lie down on his or her back and try to relax. Some children will resist getting their ears wet, but in order to float on one's back the ears must be submerged under the water. Slowly and calmly encourage them to try. I sometimes make silly jokes with children while assisting them as they float on their backs by making snoring noises pretending they've fallen asleep because they are so relaxed.
8. Make big cheeks. Ask your child to put his or her lips together tightly and make their cheeks "big" and hum while blowing air out his or her nose. Encourage them to lie on their belly and do this while putting their chin in the water. As they seem more comfortable, challenge them to make big cheeks and put their mouth in the water. Eventually they may find enough courage to put both their mouth and nose in the water while making big cheeks and humming. Some may even put their whole face in the water.
9. Squeeze a wet rag on their head. Many children are fearful of putting their eyes under the water. Even if their eyes are closed underwater, they do not like the water dripping into their face when they come up for air. Once your child is comfortable, encourage them to take a wet rag and squeeze it on top of their head to let the water drip down. Instruct them to "blink, blink, blink" their eyes to clear the water rather than rubbing them with their hands. This will help prepare them when they are learning to swim. They will not be able to stop and rub their eyes while trying to swim.
10. Try the shower. Some children actually do better getting their heads wet in the shower. Ask your child if he or she would like to try getting wet under the shower. If your child is standing be careful to keep them from slipping. When they seem comfortable encourage them to try to put their head in the water spray and then "blink, blink, blink" their eyes. Not all children will prefer this, but some actually feel braver experimenting with water in the shower.
Try these suggestions at home to help ease fear and prepare your reluctant child for swimming lessons. Who knows, your child might just fill you with wonder as they overcome their fear.
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| Sometimes it's hard to understand the world. |
Last Sunday I had the honor of sharing with our community the lectionary passage of John 20:19-21 before I realized what a difficult week it would be for many Mississippians and those who love them. John 20:19-21 reminded me, once again, of my call to follow the teachings and example of Jesus by unlocking doors in order to speak words of peace.
In the passage a group of men and women huddles together, locked in, terrified. Their physical doors are locked, but their
minds and bodies are locked in as well with fear. Can you imagine the
crowdedness of the house? These were very small houses, to begin with—and you
have all of these people locked in, crowding one another for about three days now with
their physical bodies. But something else is taking up space in the room as
well—so many emotions, so many feelings are crowding the room. Obviously the feelings of
fear are there, but also present is anxiety ("What will happen to them if they
did that to Jesus?"). Guilt is there too (Jesus was crucified and they ran
away). Along with shame and anger ("This is not
where we were supposed to end up."). This room is so crowded.
Who can blame Thomas for needing to get out for some fresh
air?
Imagine yourself in the room, and all of a sudden, everything
feels just a bit tighter as one more body causes all the other bodies to shift
a little to make space. As you look around to see why this is happening to you
see Jesus standing there, and hear him speak these words “Peace be with you.”
The room gets lighter and less crowed as Jesus invites those
present to see the wounds in his hands and side. All those heavy feelings of
fear and shame and anger, become lighter as Jesus says it again, “Peace be with
you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
Then Jesus breathes on them. Have you ever thought about
this? I don’t know anyone who particularly enjoys having someone else “breath”
on them. And I wonder what that was like, I mean, Jesus has just spent three
days in the tomb. It could have been bad; it could have
been three days in the tomb bad. But I imagine
the scent was a lot more like life than death. Like when the
seasons change and there’s just a crispness in the air that is fresh and
new. It makes me want to go outside, breathe deep and hold my arms out by my side to feel the
air.
Whether we realize it or now we have a lot in common with this group
of frightened and discouraged men and women hiding behind locked doors. Our
crowded room may not be physical, but for each of us at some point in life
we’ve found ourselves locked behind doors in crowded rooms. For some of us we
may be locked in crowded by fear or anger, or for another anxiety or
depression; for others it could be insecurity or addictions.
This is where the resurrection story, the Easter story, continues. We are reminded that God barges into our locked doors, at our darkest place, when we are consumed
with it, and uninvited, God just bursts through to offer us peace and
forgiveness and breathes life into us again.
Jesus didn’t come in and say, "Man, you guys really left me
hanging!" (ok, pun intended:). He didn't say, "I thought you were my friends. Why are you sitting in this room hiding
like a bunch of scared children? Put your big boy and girl undergarments on
and show some courage!" There was no guilt trip, no shaming…just forgiveness and
peace. That greeting of “peace be with you” means EVERYTHING is well between
us. Then Jesus breathes some life back into them.
Have any of you ever had an experience when someone’s words
(or maybe just actions) brought you life or freedom or peace. It's not that the
depression or the anger or the fear or the addiction magically disappeared with
the words of another, but somehow the words, the actions, gave you just enough air in
your lungs to take another breath. To move towards the door. To step back out
into the light of day.
That’s what Jesus does here with these men and women who have
been locked in their own tomb for the past three days. Jesus speaks peace to
them and breathes into them to give them just enough air to step towards the
door. To step back into the light of day. To breathe the air in the streets, to
move towards the people outside, to move towards this beautiful world now
bursting with new life to which he sends of them.
But then John adds verse 23, ugh. Why?
When I first read this passage I really liked the beginning
part, and I really liked the ending part with Thomas. But there was this one
little verse in between I didn’t like. I didn’t like what it said. It seemed
out of place. It seemed out of step with Jesus. So I did what all good
God-fearing preachers do, I thought... “I’ll just have to...skip it!”
Ok, obviously, I couldn't. It says:
23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you
retain the sins of any, they are retained.
For me, it was as if Jesus passed out an Easter basket full of
“forgiveness eggs”--and commissioned the group to go out and pick and choose to whom to give them. "Forgiveness for you, and you, and you, but not you. I’m
going to retain this egg from you."
As I looked at the whole picture of this passage I realized
that’s not what Jesus meant, and that’s not why John put it in here.
Rob Bell said, “Sin is like disease, and its
effects are pandemic in the human body, not to mention the human community.
"When I kept silent," the Psalmist writes, "my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long ... my strength was dried up as by the heat of
summer" (Psalm 32:3, 4). Refusing the practice of confession, the
Psalmist's silence bore a heavy grief. He was listless, depressed, and
physically tormented. But the pain of his refusal finally ended when he
confessed his sin. Confession to other human beings (and their prayers on our
behalf) can help restore us spiritually—as well as physically, mentally and
emotionally.”
When we unlock our doors and stop wasting away in silence and
confess our anger, fear, anxiety, addictions to one another, we are restored
physically, mentally and emotionally one breath at a time.
Jesus basically says, "Now, I’ve spoken peace and forgiveness to you. I’ve barged in. I’ve breathed enough life into you to get you to move
towards the door. Now go out and speak forgiveness to the world, to the people
in your family, in your community, in your world who are keeping silent, who are
wasting away, who are depressed, listless, or numb. Speak peace and forgiveness
into the locked doors and crowded rooms of others. If you don’t speak it, the
doors remain locked and crowded.
“As the Father sends me, so I send ALL of you.”
All of you—except one. Thomas missed the party. Thomas, the
one disciples whose real name we don’t exactly know because although Thomas is
a fine proper English name, it was not an actual proper name in Aramaic. Thomas
is a nickname in Aramaic which means “twin”. For centuries he’s been the disciple who’s actual name is left out of the Bible. If that's not bad enough, the church adds a
little more insult by adding the nickname of Doubting. So we’ve basically called
him Doubting Twin for all these years.
Even though they don't call him by his actual name, his friends are excited to tell him when he returns that they
have seen Jesus!
But he missed the party. I think maybe Thomas said, “' Yay' for you, but I can’t jump on
that train 'til I see it myself."
I wonder what that week was like for Thomas. Have you ever
missed out on an experience that your friends had together—and they keep
talking about it—and you keep being reminded of how you missed out?
It had to be a hard week for Thomas. Because even though
the church unfavorably labeled him Doubting Thomas for years, Thomas really
wasn't a skeptic. He was not a reluctant follower of Jesus. When Jesus was with
the group, and they were headed towards the unfriendly territory of Bethany,
Lazarus’ hometown, some disciples discouraged Jesus from continuing. But Thomas
said, “Let us also go, that we might die with him.” At the Last Super Thomas said, “Lord, we do not know
where you are going. How can we know the way?” He was ready to go…he just needed a
plan. He had a few questions about the journey.
Maybe this is why I identify with Thomas. Maybe Thomas is my
“twin”, our “twin”. Thomas brings his doubts to the church and shares them
openly. He asks the questions publicly that others are hiding behind
locked doors. I remember having a hard time in seminary understanding many of
my classmates. I chose really great professors who asked challenging questions.
I remember sharing with a mentor that I didn’t know how some classmates sat in the same lectures
and read some of the same books yet walked away with such a different idea of
God and people. He said, “Well, they are there seeking hard and strong answers. You are
there for the questions.”
Shouldn’t those who follow Jesus’ teachings honor those of us
with doubts? The church should be the place where those who struggle with the
difficult questions of life and faith are invited to come in and see and touch
and hear words of peace and receive love and support.
It begins here with Doubting Thomas. Thomas, who was the
only one not in the room. The only one not locked in, hiding behind closed
doors in that crowded room.
Verse 26 tells us a week later Thomas is with the group, and
interestingly John points out that the “doors were shut”. It doesn’t say the doors were locked, just shut. The fear had not magically disappeared, but the
doors were not locked anymore. They had moved towards the door and unlocked them. Again Jesus comes and speaks peace to them.
Jesus offers Thomas the opportunity to touch him.
I'm reminded that faith is not the absence of doubt. Faith is a mystery. In
order for faith to be faith, does there not have to be an element of something unknown?
Barbara Brown Taylor in her memoir Leaving Church says, “I wanted to recover the kind of faith that
has nothing to do with being sure what I believe and everything to do with
trusting God to catch me though I am not sure of anything.”
When we say we have faith, it doesn’t mean we don’t have
questions (or some of us doubts). It just means we trust God enough to
unlock the doors and leave the room.
Jesus may barge in uninvited into the locked rooms of our lives, but we are
always invited to his table. The doors are always open for communion and
community. Jesus invites us to move towards the door, to unlock the doors and step outside. To step out of our tombs and breathe new life...into others.
Let us be about the business of unlocking doors and speaking peace and forgiveness to those needing someone to breathe on them. Peace be with you.
Please feel free to download these to create your own. The Princess Leia pdf is print ready, but you will need to do a mirror image of the Yoda pdf before you print it onto your iron on transfer paper.
May the force be with you!
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The Princess Leia & Ewok cupcakes were fun to make as well. |
